Dirty Little Secret
by Rhinos.Vs.Unicorns
Summary: Kendall Knight wasn't always the brave one, and James knows that.  Maybe two boys from a suffocating town can learn to trust and love.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys, so I haven't really posted any normal fics in awhile since I've been all obssesed with my victorious crossover but... Yeah. Now I'm doing this. And the crossover. Because I clearly don't have the attention span for one story at a time.**

**Anyways, this is a little different then what I usually do. This is a little more serious, since I usually try to write funny "let's all party because we're young" type stuff. And this won't be as much dialogue, at least not at first. I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this story, but the idea popped into my head last night and... Here I am. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: These are very annoying and unnecessary, so I'll just be doing this one for this story. Anyways, I don't own BTR and all that.**

_***~*~Page break!~*~***_

Kendall Knight hadn't always been the brave one.

In fact, as a kid, he'd been quite the opposite. Sure, he still liked to have fun, he liked to play hockey, and he didn't turn down a good dare, but he was never brave. Kendall hid away from other people, he didn't stand up for himself. He never talked back, just did as he was told. He never would've disobeyed or questioned anybody. Because the truth was, Kendall Knight was scared. Of everyone and everything. But mainly one thing.

His father. As a kid, Kendall had been beaten. His dad never laid a hand on his mom, or Katie, or anybody except for Kendall. Kendall's dad had never wanted a son. He didn't want anyone to ever threaten his authority or show the possibility to take his place as the man of the house.

And poor Kendall had showed potential to do both of these things. Therefore, Kendall's father beat him, brutally. He let Kendall know that if he told anyone, he would just get hit more and more. So Kendall locked his lips and made sure never to misbehave, because it would get him into extra beatings.

Kendall did have someone he could always confide in, since before he could remember. James Diamond had always been there for him, always been his best friend. Of course, not even James was in on Kendall's abuse. Kendall was too afraid to tell anybody at all.

James had grown up in a big house, as one kid out of six. All of his siblings were younger; he had twin sisters, two brothers each a little older than them, and a sister, who was only a year younger than James. James, who had such a big personality, felt like he never got any attention. In his house, there was order, there was buisness. His parents had gotten divorced and his dad had married a woman fifteen years younger than his mom. As disturbing as it was, he had to admit now that she was hot. He might even hit on her if she'd been a random stranger at a party.

Because of this home, James knew what he wanted. He knew he wanted to get the hell out of that fucking Minnesota town, where you only knew a few people and you could drive for miles and miles without seeing a new face. He knew he loved to sing, and he knew he was damn good. Therefore, James was chomping at the bit for any chance to get away.

Once he was free, he had quickly adopted the lifestyle of a manwhore and a party animal. Back in Minnesota, he was notorious for being amazing with girls, but not likely to stick around. He was the cause of many a lost virginity. Here, however, the girls were experienced. They were better. And he didn't have that feeling that they probably thought he'd marry them one day.

So once he got to Hollywood, James really stepped up his game. He might've been selfish and a jerk, but it was how he'd learned. From growing up in the middle of nowhere in a house full of kids, he knew that you had to fend for yourself to get anywhere. And after seeing his parents' divorce, and Kendall's parents', and so many countless couples, he knew no one would be happy with one person for long, much less forever. He got bored easily, he went through girls like wildfire. It was his way, and it worked for him.

Then there was Logan. Logan became their friend a little later than Kendall and James had, in elementary school. He was incredibly smart and great at reading people, though he was near impossible to read himself. Kendall was the easiest. His green eyes showed everything. Sometimes, he would get into these super deppressed moods, and Logan didn't know why. It really wasn't that he acted deppressed, but Logan could see it in his eyes. If Kendall's eyes were dull it meant one of two things: either he was in one of those deppressed moods, or he really needed a coffee.

Logan's brains were good at over-analyzing everything, and he used to think way too much back in Minnesota. Logan was adopted, his real parents dissapeared just after his birth, so his adopted parents babied him like crazy. They wanted to make up for the fact that he'd never known his actual parents, resulting in the fact that he got spoiled constantly. But Logan wasn't the type to want to be spoiled. He liked to think, and he thought a lot. Until he was about ten, his parents didn't even realize that he knew he was adopted. But Logan's mom was part latina, while Logan didn't have a hispanic bone in his body. They were shocked when they found out he knew.

Carlos was the group's rock. Not because he was particularly strong or constant, but because he had a normal life. Carlos had a nice, normal mom, a fun dad, and an older brother who set a great example for him. Of course, Carlos was incredibly naive and inexperienced, but that was one of the greatest things about him. Because of his childlike mind, he was able to see every situation just the way it was, there was right and wrong, up and down, black and white. If someone told Carlos that girl 1 liked boy 1, and boy 1 liked girl 1, but girl 2 and girl 1 were friends and girl 2 had dated boy 1 awhile back and boy 1's friend boy 2 just got over liking girl 1, he would simply tell you that girl 1 and boy 1 should date because they liked eachother and therefore should be together. Simple as that Because that was how Carlos's mind worked.

So the four boys had an interesting history. When Kendall was about nine, James had been on his way over to his house. He hadn't been invited, but they were neighbors across the street, and James went over unannounced all the time. When he got there, he opened the door to see Kendall's dad punching him and slapping him. Kendall screamed at him to run, so James went to get help, on instinct. Of course in The Middle of Nowhere, Minnesota, there was no one around. And no one at James's house would listen to him. So later, James went and told Mrs. Knight, who got Kendall to tell her that it was true. Shortly after, everyone was asking why Mr. Knight was going to jail. Kendall just said that he didn't know, that his mom wouldn't tell.

The reason for his dad going to jail was something Kendall did not like to talk about. Logan and Carlos had been told later, once they were older, that he'd stolen a car, gotten drunk and gone for a joy ride. Multiple times. Eventually, they bought it. But they still wondered. And Kendall still sat up at night sometimes thinking about his dad. And James still worried about Kendall.

Kendall, although he didn't start out as it, did become the brave one, as was now well-known. After all that happened with his dad, Kendall became very defensive. Very direct. Very fearless.

Of course, Kendall wasn't fearless. He still remembered his childhood, and he was still scared shitless by it. He just wanted to overcome that. So he overdid it, making sure he was the boldest, the strongest, the best friend and leader. Especially for James. After all that time of James being there for him, James keeping his dirty little secret, it got to be his turn to be there for James. Which was just why they'd gone to Hollywood in the first place. Getting out of the middle of fucking nowhere was what James really wanted. And Kendall liked to give James what he wanted.

_**~*~*Breaking this page now*~*~**_

**A/N: Umm... So...**

**Whattaya think? Review I guess... If you like it. The next chapter will be more fun. There will actually be dialogue and stuff happening, not just background. We'll see where it goes. Should I do some Kames? I think I should. I feel like that last line is a little very suggestive. Tell me what you wanna see in the reviews!**

**TTFN.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys! So it seems like you liked that first chapter. I swear, I was gonna keep this story all serious, and it'll definitely be more serious than what I'm used to, but I just can't keep away. It's time to break out a little comedy. But I promise, the general theme thing is still all serious (obviously) and I'm sure we'll have plenty of those Deep Thoughts with James Diamond (and Kendall Knight in this case) scenes that everybody loves so much. Anyways, I'm glad everyone liked that first chapter, and I'm so sorry it's taken so long to update. LOTS of homework and stuff. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. Ok, wow, I talk a lot. If you're still reading this, I'm honestly surprised.**

**Also, my P.O.V. ish thing (it's really not a point of view, because it's third person, but it's like who's mind we're focused on, you get it?) tends to jump around quite a bit. I think it should be pretty easy to understand, though. If not, tell me in the reviews and I'll try to fix that.**

**DISCLAIMER: It would be so awesome to own BTR, but sadly, I don't.**

_***~*~Page breakin the hell out of this place~*~***_

"Dude stop it, you're like, raping me!" Kendall said, laughing as he pushed James off of him. They'd gotten in a little argument about the best flavors of Goldfish, and soon enough, James had Kendall pinned up against the doorframe, ready to defend Flavor Blasted to the death.

"It's not rape if you like it!" James cooed jokingly. Kendall rolled his eyes, as if it wasn't completely true.

"I don't! Let me go!" Kendall struggled, but James was bigger than him, and he was in a better position. James had one of Kendall's arms pinned behind his back, and he was holding his other wrist up against the wall.

"Admit Flavor Blasted is better!" James yelled at him, not about to give up anytime soon.

"It's nothing compared to Pizza!" Kendall yelled back, his green eyes flaring.

James tightened his grip and twisted Kendall's arm more, moving even closer. Kendall raised his leg, ready to knee James in the balls, but before he could James intercepted him with his own leg, which left them with one of James's legs wedged between Kendall's.

Logan watched them from where he stood by the fridge, amused. He could see clearly how much the two guys liked each other. Of course, neither would dare admit it. He'd tried asking Kendall, who he was closer with out of the pair, about it once and he denied everything. Kendall told Logan how it was all in his head, that he had no idea what the smaller, and smarter, boy was talking about.

He recalled how he'd noticed, multiple times, that sometimes after fooling around, er, "_wrestling,"_ together, the guys tended to get sprung. Once he brought that up to James, who just laughed. He told Logan he'd been sexting with this chick right before. Logan couldn't help but think, _'Every time?' _He highly doubted it, considering how often this happened. James definitely got around, and could easily be classified as a manwhore, but Logan knew desperate girls were not the only cause of these frequent boners. And Kendall got them too, and while Kendall did just fine, he wasn't as good as James. And he had a girlfriend. A very conservative girlfriend, to the point of almost being considered a prude. The reasons the guys got hard was because of eachother.

Pulling himself out of his own thoughts, he looked up to see how James and Kendall had moved even closer. James had pushed his face so it was only a couple inches away from Kendall's. _Could they be more obvious?_

Kendall looked James straight in the eye. It was, of course, a bad idea. James had changed his tactic to stare-down, and his hazel eyes looked incredibly intense. His lips were inches away from Kendall's, but it felt like they were miles apart. The friction of James's leg in between his, the close proximity, his eyes... It was all too much. Kendall felt himself start getting hard. He started to turn red, hoping desperately that James wouldn't notice.

James raised his eyebrows when he felt Kendall go hard. He wondered exactly _why_. It was possible that James was the reason; he was James Diamond, he was damn _sexy_, but as far as he knew, Kendall was straight. He was probably fantasizing about the day Jo let him go all the way, (she was still a virgin, though Kendall was not). It was really a mystery to James why Kendall was with her, when he could do so much better.

He realized that the boner was probably an indication that Kendall was distracted, and if he was distracted, then James wasn't doing a good enough job at making him forfit. He leaned in even closer.

"You ready to admit that Flavor Blasted is better now?" he growled as he raised one hand and pushed Kendall's shoulder back, keeping the hand that it was attached to held at an awkward angle. He was pretty sure it wasn't a natural way the human body was supposed to bend, but hey, that wasn't the only thing that could challenge those rules.

Kendall yelped. The way James was holding him hurt like a bitch, but the growling was even worse. He swallowed harshly, knowing that if James did one more thing to put him in pain or close the ever decreasing gap between them, he would _really _go hard. And then James would know, and know it was because of him, the bastard.

"Yes!" Kendall finally cried out, "Yes, I admit it! Flavor motherfucking Blasted is better! Just let me go!"

James's face split into a wide grin and he instantly let Kendall go. He casually walked over to the mirror, checking his hair to make sure he still looked flawless. Kendall was slumped against the wall, getting his composure.

Logan chuckled quietly as he watched them and noticed how Kendall's pants seemed to fit... a little snugger. Those two boys were full of secrets, yet somehow he had a feeling that he'd have plenty of time to figure all of them out.

_***~*~Would you like an author's note?~*~***_

**A/N: Okay, so, I really liked this chapter. And I don't usually say that, so, I hope it was good. I don't know, I just felt like this one was pretty well written. Tell me if you agree (or not) in the reviews! Thanks guys.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews everybody! You guys are literally the awesomest. So, things are gonna start to heat up a little more this chapter. I hope you likey.**

_***~*~Page break!~*~***_

"Oooh! She's cute! I think I'll go talk to her!" Carlos said excitedly, pointing at a brunette across the room from them.

James put a hand on the excited smaller boy's chest, stopping him, "No Carlos, not her."

"Why not?" Carlos asked innocently, "She's totally hot."

"Look at her back pockets," James advised him.

"You are so shallow," Logan scolded, though he couldn't help but look too.

"No, I'm not talking about her ass, I mean literally, her pocket," James told him.

"Why?" Carlos asked. He looked up to James, and listened to his every word like it was law.

"See in the left pocket, how there's something cylindrical?"

"Oooh, James used a big word," Logan joked sarcastically.

James rolled his eyes, "Whatever. You see the tube thing, right?"

Carlos nodded.

"That's a tampon. And if a girl has a tampon..."

"She's on her period!" Carlos exclaimed, getting a few confused looks from those around them.

"Sssh, sssh," James told him, "but yeah, you're right. She's on her period. So steer clear."

"But James, if you like a girl, why does that matter?" Carlos asked.

"She'll be cranky. And there's no possibility of you getting any, so what's the point?" James told him, "Now, try looking for girls with condoms. They're the ones that are mor elikely to be easy."

Kendall, who'd been standing next to James, let out an annoyed sigh.

"You whore," he told James, "I'm going to get a drink."

James furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "What's up his ass?"

"Clearly not you," Logan muttered as he went to follow Kendall.

"What?" James asked.

"I said I'm gonna go get some punch," Logan said, "before you spike it."

James grinned, waving a small bottle at Logan, "You know me too well."

"If you only knew."

James shrugged, disregarding the comment. Logan was weird.

_**~*~*Page breaking time!*~*~**_

"Hey," Logan said, walking up to join Kendall, who was getting a beer. Kendall was glaring angrily at James, grinding with some random girl. Carlos was with her friend, and frankly, he looked amazed.

"Hi," Kendall said dryly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"It's James, isn't it?"

"What about him," Kendall said with a grimace.

"You're pissed he's out there whoreing around."

"He's always whoreing around."

"That doesn't mean you can't be pissed about it."

"Whatever," Kendall drank his beer angrily. "I'm just in a bad mood. James didn't do anything wrong."

"James is ALWAYS doing something wrong," Logan told him with a serious look.

"Well, nothing special then."

"Whatever you say," Logan sing-songed as he walked away.

James turned the girl around and started kissing her, sliding his hands down her sides onto her ass.

Kendall took another swig of the beer, turning and walking away. Maybe he'd go find someone to dance with.

_***~*~Everybody up in the club gettin tipsyyy~*~***_

Kendall was talking to some random stoner, who was high as a kite. He was telling some story about lizards and giant chickens and trucks. Kendall actually found it pretty fucking entertaining. He was feeling a little better, more loosened up.

"Hey," he heard and ever-familiar voice behind him. Kendall turned around to see James, who looked absolutely wasted. His shirt was crooked and his hair was -amazingly- messed up. He had smudges of lipstick on his neck and his eyes were puffy and red. He smelled like a mixture of beer, jello shots, and some weird perfume.

"Hi," Kendall said, a little confused. James was slurring his words, a lot, and all he'd said was 'hey.'

All of a sudden, James swung one leg over Kendall's. He sat down on one of Kendall's thighs, facing towards him and straddling his leg.

"I have to tell you something," he whispered, very loudly.

"I'm gonna go now," the stoner said casually. He didn't seem too bothered by what he saw before him. Then again, no one really knew what exactly he was seeing, with the LSD and all.

"So, James, whatcha doin'?" Kendall asked, with a little discomfort as he felt his pants get a little tighter. He was incredibly confused and knew people were starting to look, but he didn't want to push James away. Not just yet.

James leaned in so his mouth was pressed up against Kendall's ear. "There's a girl over in the other room. She wants to have a devil's threeway," he whispered. Kendall shivered. He could feel James's toungue licking him a little as he talked.

"A devil's threeway?" Kendall asked, confused. His voice cracked as he said devil. He was pretty damn sure James WAS the devil.

"Two dudes," James whispered. He fisted the hem of Kendall's shirt.

"What are you getting at?" Kendall asked, his green eyes glinting, when James pulled back.

James brought his face close to Kendall's, close enough for their noses to touch, and put a finger on his chest.

"I choose you," he said, as he ran his finger down Kendall's torso. He stopped when he hit the top of Kendall's jeans, then stuck his finger under the brim a little and held it there. Kendall gasped, feeling himself go harder.

"Whataya say?" James asked with a wink, "She's really hot." He got up off of Kendall's leg, holding an arm out for Kendall to take. Not that in the state he was in, James could support himself completely, much less Kendall.

Kendall stood up and put an arm around James, who instantly slumped into his shoulder.

"I'm in," he said, "Show me the way."

James grinned and stumbled off towards the room where his latest fuck buddy was waiting. She was waiting by the door, twirling her hair, and she wiggled her fingers when she saw James and Kendall.

Kendall smirked. Sure, the girl was hot. But he just couldn't get over what he'd just agreed to do with James.

_**~*~*Lalala I think I liked writing that part*~*~**_

James ran his hands down Kendall's sides. He pulled Kendall's shirt off and pushed him down onto the bed. Kendall moaned as James licked from his neck down to his happy trail. With a devious grin, James started to undo Kendall's pants.

"Hey," the girl said in a seductive voice, sliding in next to James. She wrapped her arms around his neck and bit his ear.

James smiled for a second and kissed her, then turned his attention back to Kendall. He climbed up on top of him and kissed along his jawline. Kendall reached up and grabbed James's belt loops. He pulled James's hips down to his own, wiggling back and forth a little.

The girl huffed and traced a finger down Kendall's arm, but there wasn't much space for her to get between the two. She was ignored.

"Well, you two would clearly rather just fuck each other. I'm out," she said angrily, crossing her arms. She was expecting at least one of them to get up and chase after her, but the guys didn't even look up.

"Hey, have you seen a tall muscly guy with hazel eyes and brown hair and a dirty blonde with green eyes and huge eyebrows anywhere?" Logan asked her after she got out of the bedroom.

"Oh, aren't YOU funny," she said angrily, grabbing a drink off a nearby table and tossing it in his face.

"Wha..." Logan watched her stalk away angrily, rubbing his eyes. What on earth did he say? Whatever it was, he'd gotten a drink tossed in his face. And it hurt like a bitch.

_***~*~Now back to those sexy fuckers~*~***_

Kendall reached a hand up under James's shirt and ran it over his perfect abs.

"I'm surprised this shirt is still on," Kendall observed.

"You can change that," James breathed.

"If you wish," Kendall said with a smirk. He started to pull it off, when James suddenly grabbed both of his hands and pinned them down to the bed.

"No. With your teeth," he commanded. In a matter of minutes, James had transformed from a drunk guy with no idea what he was doing into a dominant sexual beast.

Kendall slithered down and bit the hem of James's shirt. James let go of his hands and Kendall put them on James's hips, for leverage. He pulled the shirt up and over James's head. Gone.

James smiled and kissed Kendall, on the lips for the first time. It made it all the more personal, like he was actually kissing a person, not just a body. He moved to kissing the corner of the blonde's lips, then returned and put his toungue deeper into his mouth. Their toungues wrestled around until James broke the kiss, both panting. He kissed along Kendall's jawline, and the kissing quickly turned to biting. Kendall put his hands on James's lower back and then slid them into his pants. He pulled his hands all the way around to the front, and then took James's black skinny jeans off for him.

With a grin, James took off his boxers, and snapped the waistband of Kendall's.

"Let's get rid of these, shall we?" he growled. Kendall took them off and James leaned down, rolling his hips with Kendall, who quickly caught the beat. They were both plenty hard and James reached and grabbed Kendall's dick. He pumped it for a minute, then teased Kendall with a lick. Kendall whimpered.

"Fuck, James, I want you."

James climbed back up the bed so his face was above Kendall's and gave him a fast but deep kiss.

"Do you, now?" James whispered in a deep voice. It was just about the sexiest thing Kendall had ever heard.

"Yes, yes I fucking do!" Kendall begged, clenching onto the sheets.

"Then turn over. I want you on your knees," James told him, making room for Kendall to do so. Of course, he didn't give him too much room. Their bodies still rubbed against eachother as Kendall moved.

James held himself up over Kendall. He grabbed at his sides, back, legs, his dirty blonde hair. He ran a finger down the side of Kendall's face and kissed his neck. He branded each part of Kendall's body with every touch. It was now `Property of James Diamond, and it would never ever be the same as before.

"Is it gonna hurt?" Kendall asked with a yelp as he felt James start to press his erection against his ass.

"Like the little bitch you are," James hissed. Somehow, this helped assure Kendall that he wanted it even more.

James started sliding himself in. Just as he started, Kendall cried out in pain.

"Sshh, it'll be worth it," James whispered as he went in farther.

"Oh my GOD! James it hurts!"

James just moaned as he thrust harder.

"James!" Kendall screamed, "FUCK!"

"LOUDER!" James screamed back at him, as if he was pumping up a crowd.

"Oohh, oh my God, don't stop!" Kendall yelled. James leaned into it more. He had no intentions of stopping.

"Kendall," James moaned loudly, holding on to the blonde's hips.

"HARDER!" Kendall screamed. So James went harder.

_**~*~*Why don't we all just cool off for a second?*~*~**_

**A/N: So, um, I think that was the dirtiest I've written so far. Wow. That sounds pretty dumb. Compared to some things, it wasn't even that bad.**

**I'm sitting up an hour after I'm supposed to be off the computer, writing this, even though I won't post it up till tommorow.**

**But... Yeah. That was some Kames smut.**

**Tell me what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey guys! It seemed like you liked that last chapter so... here! Have another one! Enjoy!**

_***~*~It's still that same night at the moment, just FYI~*~***_

Logan ran around frantically, searching for James and Kendall. He was used to them breaking curfew, and Mrs. Knight never seemed to notice or mind, but it was now 3 AM and starting to push it. Carlos trailed after him, oblivious to pretty much everything. He was just doing what Logan told him to do.

Finally, some girl in a slutty ripped up dress pointed over towards where James and Kendall were for him. Logan's eyes widened in shock.

Kendall and James were leaning on eachother; James looked drunk and Kendall looked a little... shocked. And uncomfortable. James wasn't wearing a shirt and better yet, he was wearing gray skinny jeans instead of the black ones he'd come in. Kendall's jeans were magically black instead of, well, gray. And James's jeans looked a little tight on his muscly legs, while Kendall's looked a little baggy. Their hair was messed up, even James's. Their general appearences pointed to well... Logan didn't need to think about it in much detail.

He grabbed Carlos by the arm and dragged him over to the two guys.

"Um... hi," Logan said awkwardly. Now that he was standing closer, he smelled a mix of cum, sweat, two different colognes, and alcohol. Not helping the pretty picture forming in his mind.

"Hey Logie," Kendall said. He wobbled and leaned on James a little more. Logan shivered. He'd changed with all of the guys at one point or the other and if he remembered correctly... Walking would be a bitch for Kendall tomorrow.

"Guys, we gotta go."

"Aww, sosoon?" James slurred, "Wejusgohere."

Logan shook his head, "Yes, now. Where's your shirt?"

James started giggling and leaned towards Logan, whispering very loudly, "Kendall bit it off." He stumbled a bit and put a hand on Logan's shoulder to steady himself. Logan shuddered. He'd have to burn his shirt later, considering where James's hands had been in the past couple of hours.

"Let's just go," he grumbled. The four got some weird looks as they left. Well, mostly Kendall and James. And some chick wrote her number on James's abs. Logan wasn't sure James had even noticed, but Kendall certainly stared her down as she walked away.

_**~*~*We're baaack!*~*~**_

Logan tossed his keys on the kitchen table as Kendall and James stumbled in the door behind him and Carlos. James burst out laughing, and Kendall slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Sssh, Jamesss!" Kendall said through his own laughter.

"Both of you, shut up and go to bed. You wouldn't want Mrs. Knight to find you like this," Logan ordered. "Now go get changed and brush your teeth and just go to sleep, okay?"

"No," James told him, "I jus' wanna gotabed."

"Fine," Logan replied. He saw James stumbling around and noticed that Kendall was starting to have a little more trouble walking, so he dragged the two to their room. Kendall plopped down onto his bed and Logan pushed James down onto his own.

"No, I'm sleeping with Kendall tonight," James muttered. He stumbled towards Kendall's bed and fell on top of him, wrapping an arm around Kendall and putting his head on the pillow next to him.

Logan's eyes widened, as did Kendall's. The next thing Logan knew, however, Kendall had an arm around James's waist and there were both passed out, fully dressed (sort of). Logan shuddered a little. Apparently, James also wasn't wearing underwear.

_***~*~Morning for Logie!~*~***_

Logan was sitting at the kitchen table, eating his cereal. It was already ten AM, but Kendall and James were showing no signs of even being alive. He'd told Mrs. Knight they'd had a long night and needed to rest. That much was true.

There was a knock at the door, so Logan got up to get it. It was Jo.

"Hey Logan, is Kendall here?" She asked, peeking over his shoulder. Logan tensed.

_'Sure, he's here. He and James are asleep, and they evidently traded pants and fell all over eachother. Also they slept together,' _Logan thought, trying to come up with an excuse for his friend.

"He and James are at Roucque Records," he told her.

"On a Saturday?" Jo said, surprised.

"Yeah, Gustavo has this new track... he likes it so much that he wants them to try it out right now. You know Gustavo. What he says goes."

Jo nodded, understanding.

"But I'll definitely have him call you when he wak- when I talk to him," Logan told her, offering an awkward smile. Jo just agreed, to have him call or something, and something or the other about lunch, and left.

As soon as she was gone, Logan leaned against the door in relief. He walked over to the couch and turned on the tv.

_**~*~*Good morning boys!*~*~**_

James yawned and blinked his eyes awake. He could feel that his arm was around whatever chick he'd banged last night only... it didn't feel like a girl. His arm was around someone who wasn't nearly as soft as a normal girl and... bigger. Like almost his size. He turned over to see Kendall, then inhaled sharply. He was wearing Kendall's pants and Kendall was wearing his, and James wasn't wearing a shirt... or boxers. He pulled his arm out from under Kendall and ran a hand through his hair, when sudden images and memories from the night before came rushing back to him. Getting in Kendall's lap. Licking Kendall's ear. Kendall biting his shirt. Him biting Kendall. Him riding Kendall. Wow.

James gulped, not exactly sure what to do. He vaguely remembered Logan being all mom-like and climbing into bed with Kendall, right in front of Logan. Of course, everything was all sort of a blur, so he was unsure.

James stood up and went over to his full length mirror. Examining his perfectly toned body, he noticed a number written across his six pack signed something like "Tiffany" or whatever the little whore's name had been. There were also about twelve hickeys, evidently from the same guy that was now asleep on the bed behind him.

Kendall rolled over and opened his eyes. He rubbed them and went to stand up.

"Jesus Christ!" Kendall whimpered when he tried to take a step. He noticed James turn to look at him and turned bright red.

"Umm... Hey," James said with a sheepish grin. He saw a trail of hickeys going from Kendall's jawline, down his neck, and then dissapearing under his shirt.

"Hi," Kendall replied, sinking back down onto the bed. He wasn't at all used to this. But he couldn't help but remember the night before, how James had gone down on him and then crawled into bed with him. How he was completely all over Kendall. How Kendall felt like he owned the world, or, well, James, who was pretty much equivalent.

"Sooo..." James said.

"So."

"We should... um..."

"Yeah..."

Kendall had no idea what to do, so he did what he aways did in times of panic.

He stuck his head out of the door, looking around to make sure no one was there to see him.

"Logan!" He hissed to the smaller boy on the couch.

Logan turned around, jumped up, pushed Kendall into his room, and closed the door.

"Hi, Logan!" James greeted cheerily, "So... Um..."

"What do we do?" Kendall asked him.

"I... Um... I just..." He had no response for them. What do you do when you sleep with your best friend drunk at a party and only one of you was sober? Logan had never done it, so he didn't know.

"Maybe you guys should take showers," Logan finally advised them. He sighed, knowing that was not enough. "And, you know, talk about... what happened. Later, once you're a little more awake and less hungover."

"What is there to talk about?" James asked.

"Well," Logan told him, "you slept together, so clearly, there's a lot to talk about." He got up and left, leaving the other two to get cleaned up or talk or whatever they were going to do.

_***~*~Night time!~*~***_

"Hey," James said as he stepped out onto the roof of the Palm Woods. He sat down next to Kendall, who was staring out at the pool. There were a few people still swimming and a couple making out be the campfire. It was clear and warm out, but not humid. It would've been a great night for one of their famous campfire jam sessions.

"How'd you know I'd be out here?" Kendall asked without taking his eyes off the pool.

James shrugged, "I had a feeling."

They both loved to sit on rooftops. Ever since they were little, they both liked sitting up on the roof, alone and away from the rest of the world, staring up into the sky or down at everyone below who couldn't see them. Kendall did it to get away from his dad, and James did it to escape from his hectic family. It just felt natural, and it was always so peaceful up on the roof. Always.

"Why'd you come?" Kendall asked.

"I wanted to talk."

"Well, talk."

James sucked in a breath, "Kendall, last night, I- I was drunk. Like really incredibly drunk. I puked all day today, bu I noticed that you- didn't. You didn't seem hungover at all, and from what I remember from last night, you weren't drunk. You knew what you were doing. Am I right?"

Kendall sighed, still refusing to look at James. He knew the night before was too good to be true. He knew he'd get caught in this situation. He nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. It was a mis-"

"I didn't say, " James cut him off, grabbing his face, "that I didn't enjoy it."

Kendall let his eyes meet James's, who held his chin cupped in his hand, and grinned. James leaned in and kissed him, slipping his toungue easily into the blonde's mouth. Kendall put his hands on James's lower back and James moved his hand to around Kendall's neck, and then pulled back.

"So," Kendall began, "are we... together now?"

James shook his head, "Kendall, we can't be 'together.' Or 'exclusive.' This is fun and all, but it's not like we're going to be happy with just each other."

Kendall grimaced. James's mind worked in strange ways. One minute he was saying how he liked fucking Kendall, the next he said they couldn't be happy together.

"And why the hell not?" He asked.

"Because," James told him, "no one can be happy with just one person." He turned and looked away, this time he being the one to look out at the water, "It's bound to fail."

"No," Kendall told him, "it isn't. Not neccesarily. It's worth a shot."

James shook his head in dissagreement, "You can't be with just one person. It's impossible."

"James," Kendall told him, putting an arm around his shoulders, "I thought getting rescued from my _dad _was impossible. But there you were. Maybe I can do something impossible for you now."

James gulped, the reflection of the lights and the water flickering in his hazel eyes. He knew Kendall cared, he knew Kendall liked him. But he didn't know if Kendall really _liked_ him, or if he just_ wanted _him. He was James fucking Diamond. He wouldn't blame Kendall for wanting his body, and not wanting to share.

Running a hand through his hair, James stood up. "No way," he said, "that isn't gonna happen." He turned and left, with nothing clearer than it had been before.

_**~*~*Author's note time!*~*~**_

**A/N: So? What did you think? I almost ended that last scene differently, and it would've ended the story, but I changed my mind. Hope you liked it! Review! Go go go!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hi guys! I know, it's been awhile, I've had a TON of work (and even worse, a screaming and nagging mom to go on top of it). Anyways, I'm here now, I'm on, and... yeah. That's that.**

_***~*~Sorry for taking forever!~*~***_

James Diamond had a heart. Really, he did. Even through all the sleeping around and crushing people, it was technically there. It was just... hidden. There was a brick wall covered in cement and Gorrilla Glue, a layer of barbed wire, an electric fence, and a bunch of huge Freight Train-like body guards riding tigers. That way, no one could get to it.

Not even Kendall.

Still, Kendall was there, chipping away at that brick wall with a pickax. But he'd just been bit by a tiger, punched by a Freight Train, or maybe really badly shocked.

He'd been hit with a wave of Cold James.

Since that night, James had barely talked to him. They'd sat next to each other, sure, and they asked to pass the chicken nuggets and all that shit, but they weren't acting _close _anymore. And it really fucking worried Kendall.

"Hey, Logan?" Kendall said, knocking lightly on Logan and Carlos's open doorframe. Carlos was off being stupid, so it was just him and Logan.

"Yeah?" Logan said, looking up from his book.

"Can we talk?"

Logan pulled a chair over to his bed, ready to listen.

The difference here was what the boys saw. Logan knew how to read people. He knew James wouldn't give Kendall his heart, not because he didn't like Kendall, but because he didn't _like_. There was a risk there. And while James was willing to risk pretty much anything for the dumbest reasons, there was one thing he would never take his chances with: love.

Kendall, on the other hand, only saw as far as the surface. He thought James hated him, simple as that. Kendall just thought he'd screwed up beyond belief and now he had to figure out how to fix it.

"I- James hates me. And I can't take it. I can't stand this, not for another second. Logan, I just don't know what to do, that night was just so fantastic, but I did take advantage of him being drunk-"

"Whoah," Logan cut him off, "You think James hates you?" Logan KNEW that Kendall thought James hated him, but he had to pose it as a question. The whole point was to make Kendall realize how incredibly ridiculous that was.

"Well yeah, he does," Kendall replied, looking down. It had been five days since they'd slept together, four since the incident on the roof. They'd barely spoken for four entire days. That was longer than Kendall could ever remember. He could feel hot tears burning in his eyes and he looked away even more. He couldn't cry. Not here, not now, not in front of Logan.

"He doesn't," Logan said, putting an arm around Kendall, "he's _scared_."

Kendall laughed a little, "Funny joke, Logan. James. Scared. Sure."

"I'm not kidding, Kendall," Logan told him.

"James is probably the bravest dude I've ever met. He has no fear," Kendall told Logan.

Logan rolled his eyes at this glorified image of James that Kendall apparently saw. "He has no _shame_," Logan corrected, "but he has fear. He has fear of anything real. He runs from it."

Kendall just shook his shaggy head of hair, "No, Logan, James doesn't run. James sticks up for what he believes in."

"Really," Logan crossed his arms, "when, exactly, has James been so brave?"

Kendall bit his lip. He couldn't just come out and say it. Logan just didn't know. "I- I can't-" he thought of his dad. He thought of being hit on the head, the side, the back. He thought of watching James run his scrawny little ass off to get him help. He thought of wondering if he'd come back, if James would really get him help. He thought of not really knowing if James would get back in time, or if he'd just get killed, right then and there, and go burn in hell like his dad always said he would. He thought of the moment of relief when he was finally rescued. The tears finally escaped. They ran down his face, at first a couple, then streams. He'd tried to think of anything BUT his dad since they came to Hollywood. But now, now that he'd lost the person who saved him from his own personal patriarcal hell, he couldn't help it.

"Kindle?" Logan asked quietly, mispronouncing his name the way he always did when he talked about him. He didn't know what to do. Logan put an arm around Kendall, reaching to give him a hug. Kendall didn't hug back. He just cried.

_**~*~*Guys what the fuck am I doing I was wondering if kendall would cry in BT Break Up and then this happened oh dear lord*~*~**_

James was lying on a beach chair, staring up at the sky. He had no idea what to do. Kendall wanted to be with him, really be with him, but he just didn't know. Sure, the sex was fantastic. And of course James liked Kendall. But with liking someone comes vulnerability. James wasn't down with vulnerability.

"Hey, whatcha thinkin about?" Carlos asked cheerily, bouncing up to the taller boy and blocking his sun.

"Carlos, move it! You're blocking the sun!" James told him, an extra note of frustration in his voice.

"Yikes, grouchy," Carlos said, "why so grumpy?"

"Just- no, just shut up, Carlos."

"Oh, Kendall. I see," Carlos said, surprisingly insightful.

James sat up quickly, glancing around. People near them didn't seem to have heard him, but either way, James dragged Carlos off to the elevators, where no one was paying any attention to them.

"What are you talking about?" James asked through gritted teeth when they got there.

Carlos shrugged, "You clearly like Kendall. And he likes you. What is there to talk about?"

James shook his head, "I do NOT like him."

"Why do you keep denying it?"

"We're both dudes. If I have feelings towards him, that makes me vulnerable, that's bad. And again, we're both dudes."

Carlos shook his head and shrugged again. "I think if you like eachother, you should be together," he said plainly.

"Carlos! Are you not listening to me!" James yelled.

"No, not really," Carlos admitted.

"Well listen up. I. Don't. Like. Kendall. Forget it."

"Then why did you sleep with him?"

"I... I-" James ran through his hair, "Just because I sleep with someone doesn't mean I really like them. It just means that I want to put my dick in them."

"Ok," Carlos replied, starting to turn on his heel, "Then I'll just go tell Kendall you don't like him."

"No! Wait!" James called.

Carlos turned around, grinning. "Yes?"

"Don't tell him that."

"So you do like him?"

"No- yeah- well- just don't, ok? We may like each other a little more than just as friends or fuck buddies, but we're not going to work out together, alright?"

"Why can't you work it out, then?" Carlos asked. He was always full of questions.

James shook his head again, crossing his arms. "Stuff doesn't just _work out, _ Carlos. Not in the real world."

"Sure it does," Carlos told him, "just look at my parents. They worked out."

James balled his fists, looking away from Carlos. Parents weren't exactly a great argument for Carlos's side.

"Well isn't that dandy for them," James growled, turning off towards the elevator to go to the second floor.

_***~*~Different focus, shall we?~*~***_

Kendall closed the door to 2J behind him with a click. He rubbed his eyes one last time. He'd just washed his face, in hopes of not looking like he'd been crying. It hadn't totally worked, but he was done caring. He needed to go for a walk. Silently, he really hoped he didn't see James. He didn't want James to see him like this. Or maybe he deep down, he wished he would run into James, just so that bastard would see what he was doing.

He was almost to the elevator, when James stepped out. He came storming down the hallway, clearly pissed about something or the other. Kendall studied the wallpaper, trying not to make eye contact. Still, he knew James's hazel eyes were burning into him like a fucking laser.

The next thing he knew, James had closed the gap between them and grabbed Kendall by the shoulders. He shoved Kendall up against the wall, then proceeded to rape his mouth. James forced his tounge through Kendall's lips, which only resisted for a minute. Kendall was pinned between James's body, his muscles tensed as he held Kendall there, and the wall. James threw himself into it, his teeth clicking against Kendall's and biting his lip a little bit. All Kendall could do was open his mouth and try to keep up.

Then, suddenly, it was over as soon as it had happened. Without even glancing at Kendall, James let him go and continued to walk away, stalking right past the door of 2J and to the stairwell.

Kendall just stood there in awe, a hand on his lips, which almost hurt a little bit. James's sing-song voice echoed in his head.

_"It's not rape if you like it."_

_**~*~*Well that was completely unplanned but hey I guess I'm just spontaneous.*~*~**_

**A/N: So uh... Yep. That was that. I hope you liked it? I just... ok. I'm gonna go away now. Review if you dare.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Well hey there. Oh my god, has it been a week since I updated? I'm really sorry, I spent forever updating my crossover and I have tons of work and horse stuff and all that and well, sorry I hadn't had time. Also, I could only think of an ending for the chapter, but I needed a beggining. Usually if I have a beggining, I'm all set to just kind of wing it.**

_***~*~Sorry for taking so long!~*~***_

Kendall went over to the elevator, shaking his head. What the fuck was wrong with James? One minute he wanted Kendall, the next he didn't, the next he was angrily making out with him and walking away like nothing abnormal had happened.

The elevator doors opened and Carlos stepped out. He looked frantic.

"Was James here? I think I might've pissed him off," Carlos asked innocently.

"Carlos, you have no idea," Kendall told him. He pushed past the little latino and got into the elevator.

"Hey Kendall," greeted Jo's voice when he reached the lobby. Unbelievable. Did there have to be people EVERYWHERE he went?

"Hi Jo," Kendall said, stopping in front of her but itching to run off to anywhere but, well, there.

"We haven't spent much time together lately," Jo said casually, twirling her hair. This, of course, was how she would casually hint at Kendall that they REALLY needed to spend time together and that they should right then if it was the last thing she did. Kendall didn't understand why she wouldn't just come out and say what she meant. Girls were so confusing.

"I'll call you later today, we'll make a date for dinner this week, ok?" Kendall said, trying to just satisfy her so he could move the fuck on.

Jo nodded and squinted at him a little. She was probably noticing that his eyes were a little red and that he seemed distracted. Of course, anyone would be distracted after they just got mouth raped. Especially if the person who mouth raped them was a kissing god.

"Yeah, I'll catch you later, okay? Gustavo wants me over at Rocque Records."

Jo nodded again and left. Kendall tried to get out of the Palm Woods as quickly as possible, and make eye contact with no one.

_**~*~*Now back to Jamie*~*~**_

James sat down on the edge of the roof, biting his lip. What the fuck had he just done? Damn, Kendall must've been confused as hell. But so was he. The score was even. It was sort of a lose-lose.

Or maybe it was a win-win. They were both fantastic kissers and they were both great in bed. But in a true win-win, for James at least, there would be no emotional attachments. No feely conversations. No frustration. No confusion. No anger. And certainly no love.

Really, James's ideal relationship was just sex. Just a body rocking under him, and that was it. It didn't matter who exactly it was, as long as they were good in bed and hot.

Kendall fit the criteria perfectly. He was fantastic in bed. He had a very talented set of lips. And he was definitely hot. It was just that with Kendall, it DID matter who it was. Because, well, it was KENDALL. And Kendall was kind of a big deal.

James turned around when he heard footsteps behind him. Standing at the top of the staircase was a short latino boy wearing a helmet and a very apologetic face. James sighed. He'd been a douche to poor Carlos. Carlos really didn't do anything wrong.

"I'm sorry, James," Carlos said quietly, his big brown eyes pleading.

"It's alright, Carlos. I'm not mad at you, I'm just mad," James explained.

"Well who are you mad at?" Carlos asked curiously.

"I don't know, pretty much every couple in the world, together or not. But it doesn't matter. I'm sorry I got so pissed and snapped at you," James told him, standing up.

"Then can I have a hug?" Carlos asked him.

"Yeah, you can have a hug," James replied, walking over to him and wrapping his arms around his smaller friend. He even cracked a smile.

_***~*~No one can deny that Carlos is adorable okay~*~***_

"Hey," Logan greeted as Carlos walked into their shared room. Carlos sat down on the bed next to Logan and took off his helmet. He blew air out of his lips in exasperation, clearly tired.

"What's up?" Logan asked, "How'd your talk with James go?"

Carlos sat up and looked at Logan, "Okay, I guess." He said it in this pouty way, so that Logan just knew Carlos wanted him to ask about it.

"Do you wanna tell the story?" Logan asked Carlos, as if the thought was completely his own idea. It was this little game they played. It made Carlos happy, so Logan figured it was worth it each time.

Carlos's face lit up when Logan offered, as it always did. "Yeah. Okay, I was trying to tell James that he should just give Kendall a chance. He's always so worried about getting hurt, so he hurts everyone around him. I don't get it!" Carlos threw the helmet that he held in his hands to the ground in frustration.

"It's okay," Logan said, patting Carlos on the back and picking the helmet up. "What happened next?"

"Well," Carlos continued, "James said that no couples stay happy together, so I used my parents as an example. But now I realize that was a really bad idea, because James's parents hate each other so James clearly didn't appreciate it. And then James ran off and I think he did something that upset Kendall, but neither of them told me what. So I eventually found him up on the roof, and it took me almost five minutes of searching!"

Logan shook his head. Carlos had the attention span of a ferret.

"And then?" Logan inquired.

"Then James said he was sorry for getting mad and he gave me a hug but I still think he's upset," Carlos finished off.

"That doesn't seem bad," Logan told him.

"Yeah, but I just wish I could've gotten through to James more. All I really wanted was to show him that if you like someone, you should be with them."

Logan nodded for a minute, then turned to face Carlos. They had slowly been wedged in closer to each other because Logan's bed had sunk down with their weight.

"So if I liked you," Logan said, "then I should do this?"

He took Carlos's chin lightly in his hand, using one finger to tip it up, and placed a gentle kiss on him.

"You like me, Logie?" Carlos said excitedly, grinning.

Logan smirked, cracking his signature crooked smile. He leaned in again, tilting his head a little more to the side this time as they kissed again.

"Different," Logan mused when they pulled apart again, "but good."

_**~*~*Now isn't that fluffy?*~*~**_

**A/N: He hey! Ok, so, yeah, that was that. I'm really not a Cargan girl, but I just felt like it fit here. I had to put them with each other, seeing as there was a scene in the last chapter and that second scene in this chapter had definite Kogan and Jarlos vibes. But it's just gonna be friend type Kogan and Jarlos, so yeah. And don't worry, the Cargan is pretty much only gonna be implied and mentioned here and there. No more big Cargan scenes (well maybe one, I never really know).**

**And I am very sorry if that fluff was horrible and made you want to puke rainbows everywhere. I'm really not a fluff girl either. What I like best is Kames comedy/smut/angst. So that last scene was really not my thing at all. And I'm very sorry to anybody just like me who wanted the Kames mentioned above but not the Cargan. And IF you're like that, tell me so I can read your stuff, ok? Review pleeeease!**

**ONE MORE THING: Who saw the Big Time Break Up promo? Not gonna lie, I cried. I don't even like Jo! But I realized I'm kinda gonna miss her.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey! Thanks so much to all of you who reviewed! You guys are awesome! I know that not everyone was into the Cargan, but don't worry, they'll be really minimal. Of course not everything I promise always stays true. I never really know what I'm about to write. Except I know how this next scene will go... ;)**

_***~*~Did the winky face make you curious?~*~***_

"Oh I'm sure you can get wetter," James said into the phone, using a deep and seductive voice. "Espanol? No sabia que lo hablaste. Me gusta," James replied to whatever the girl on the other end had said.

Just as he said that, Kendall walked into their bedroom. James was lying on his bed, only looking half-interested in his phone call.

"Oh I swear I am VERY hard," James said convincingly. Kendall couldn't help but check, only to find it wasn't true. He then let himself slowly draw his eyes up the rest of James's body. James met his eyes with raised eyebrows when he was done.

"Yeah, okay, I'll call you later. My roommate's home. You didn't know I was in college? Yeah, UCLA. Yes! No, it's not a girl. He's just a friend," James laughed, "OF COURSE I'm straight. Alright babe, I'll call you later. Bye!"

Kendall laughed when James hung up, "Phone sex? Really James?"

James shrugged, "What can I say, it's fun. But I was not into it, as you noticed," he winked as he stood up, "SHE'S never getting a call back."

"So, UCLA huh?" Kendall laughed again. James. At UCLA. Now THAT was funny.

"Of course," James said, "the ladies love it."

"Looks like you're off your period," Kendall joked, glad to see that James was finally in a good mood again. His green eyes twinkled happilly, but it did pain him a little to walk in on James with someone else, even if it _was _over the phone.

"Yeah, I'm good," James told Kendall. "But that doesn't mean I'm not a little hormonal," he added, grabbing Kendall's belt loop, pulling him closer with one finger.

Kendall looked a little hesitant. James was reckless. One minute he wanted Kendall, the next he didn't even want to look at him.

"Come on," James growled, hazel eyes intese. He gave Kendall a quick peck, taking just enough time to lick the blonde's lips once. Cocktease.

Kendall felt himself giving in, as he always did. He tipped his chin up as James kissed his jawline. James pressed his hips up against Kendall's, rocking back and forth, side to side. It was like grinding with a god. Kendall let out a moan. He was weak.

James's hands traveled down Kendall's back, grabbing his ass and forcing him in even closer. Kendall reached up and pulled James's shirt open as quickly as he could. He loosened James's skinny tie and started to push the shirt back off his shoulder. James put his hands back for a second, letting Kendall take the shirt all the way off. It fell to the floor, quickly forgotten.

James grabbed Kendall's belt loop again, this time pulling him over to the bed. He shoved Kendall down onto the bed forcefully, planting another kiss on him and biting at his neck.

Suddenly, Kendall pushed James back. He couldn't do this again. He knew that although those minutes or hours or however long James wanted to go would be amazing, soon enough, he'd be innexplicably iced. He'd become James's toy, taken out whenever James felt like it, then being kicked into the corner shortly after. It was too much like being abused. James of all people should've known better. He had to make it stop.

"No," Kendall breathed, sounding unconvincing. James looked confused, kneeling over him, all washboard abs and boner. What Kendall really wanted to do, of course, was grab James's tie and pull him back onto him and tell him to just take him right that instant.

James, who was taken aback for a second there, made a quick recovery. With a mischevious smirk, his hands flew to Kendall's pants, ready to finish what he started.

"Stop it," Kendall told him, more forcefully this time. He pushed James all the way off of him, and James, who was not expecting the sudden force, nearly fell off the bed.

"Dude, what the hell?" James yelled as Kendall got up and stalked out of the room.

Just as Kendall put his hand on the handle of the door to leave 2J, James grabbed his arm.

"What is wrong with you?" James asked him angrily.

Kendall paused for a second, considering pulling free and leaving without a word.

"James, I'm so fucking sick of your little games. You go ahead and fuck me, and of course I like it. You know I do. But then a little later I'm getting the cold shoulder and you won't talk about anything to anyone! And when you get pissed, you get really sexual again, and you fucking kiss rape me. You just go around hurting everybody. You nearly made Carlos cry," there were tears in Kendall's eyes as he said this. "I'm sick and tired of getting played by you all the time! This is like getting abused. It's different than with my father, sure, but it hurts just as much. I'm done. Don't even bother coming after me," he growled the last part instead of yelling it like he had the rest of his rant. He twisted his arm free, not that he needed to, since James's grip had loosened. Kendall pulled the door open and slammed it behind him.

James was left standing in the kitchen, shirtless with a tie around his neck, absolutely speechless. He turned around and saw Logan on the couch, with Carlos blinking awake next to him, starting to sit up. They were staring at him, looking confused.

"What?" he said harshly, "Did you enjoy the fucking show? I bet you thought it was HILARIOUS. Lots of fun."

"James?' Logan squeaked quietly, sounding a little scared and apologetic.

"WHAT?" James yelled at him, "Are you going to give me your amazingly rational advice? From the perfectest couple in the world? I bet Carlos was sleeping with his head in your lap before, wasn't he? Figures. _ Isn't that cute_," he sneered sarcastically.

Carlos was frozen stone-could, terrified. He hated when James yelled. And he hated when Kendall yelled. Sadly for him, both had just happened.

James stalked over to his room, pulling his tie off as he did so. He slammed the door forcefully.

"Good thing I didn't tell him not to wake you up," Logan chuckled, but his face looked serious.

"Should we go talk to them?" Carlos asked with wide eyes.

"Let's give them a little time to cool off," Logan advised him. Carlos nodded and lay back down, putting his head back into Logan's lap.

_**~*~*Hmm... A little anger over there I suppose*~*~**_

There was a small knock at the door, which opened seconds later. James let his eyes flit towards it for a second, then returned to studying the ceiling. He was lying on his back on his bed, hands folded behind his head. Logan sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Hey," he said. James just grunted.

"Sit up," Logan told him, nudging his arm. James groaned and did so.

"What were you crying about?" Logan asked, taking in James's puffy red eyes and messed up hair.

"I wasn't crying," James said, refusing to make eye contact.

"I'm not Carlos. _Why_?" Logan asked him again.

A tear rolled down James's cheek. He propped his elbows on his knees, putting his head down in his hand. He grabbed at his hair in frustration. He couldn't even look at Logan.

"What is it?" Logan asked quietly. He knew it was more than just Kendall being pissed at him. James was tougher than that.

"I'm a monster," James finally whispered. The tear that ran down his face hit the floor, leaving a sole little droplet of water.

"You're not a monster," Logan said soothingly. He knew James had done Kendall wrong, but, monster? James himself knew he was a player. He owned it.

"He compared me to his DAD," James said angrily, a lot louder this time. His arms tensed as his grip on his usually perfect hair tightened, making the veins on his arms evident. James really was just mad at himself.

"Why, exactly, did Kendall's dad go to jail?" Logan asked carefully.

"That," James said, finally looking up and letting his bloodshot eyes meet Logan's, "I can't tell you."

_***~*~That should do it, right?~*~***_

**A/N: What'd you think? This chapter is just a bit angsty, huh? PSSHH... NEVER. Well... tell me what you thought. I promise not to explode at you. I don't actually act like I write.**

**And to anyone who speaks Spanish: I know I need the little squiggly (I really have no way to describe it without using the letter itself) in Espanol, and the tilde in salia. My computer won't let me do that. I'm not on Word -_-**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey! Just up in here, updating THE LAST CHAPTER. Dun dun dun...**

_**~*~*Y'all ready for this?*~*~**_

"Hey guys," James said weakly, walking into the kitchen. After talking to Logan, he'd just sat in his room, wondering where Kendall was.

"Hey," the other two chimed.

"So... Have you heard anything from Kendall?" James asked. It was around midnight. He was starting to wonder.

"No," Logan shook his head slowly. He knew James really was worried.

"Alright, whatever," James mumbled. As he did, the apartment door opened. In the doorway was Kendall, looking fried. His hair was screwed up all over the place, his eyes were red and bloodshot, and he had a hickey on his neck. He was very obviously unhappy, and he appeared sort of... disturbed.

"Kendall," James began, reaching out towards him.

Kendall blinked back tears, not looking at James. Instead he looked pointedly at Logan and Carlos. "I'm going to bed," he informed them. He disappeared into his and James's room.

"What should I..." James trailed off, glancing at the clock.

"Give him some space," Logan advised.

James just nodded. He grabbed a sweatshirt off the couch and pulled it on. He turned and headed out the door, up to the roof.

_***~*~Now over to Kendall!~*~***_

Kendall opened the door to his and James's bedroom. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. It had been a bad night, and he was just so pissed. James was such a drama queen. Of course he had issues. But James of all people should realize that Kendall had issues too, and if he was able to get past them for James, then James should get past his for Kendall. Sighing, Kendall changed into boxers and a t-shirt and went to bed for some much-needed sleep.

_**~*~*After some deep thoughts with James Diamond...*~*~**_

James closed the door behind him as quietly as he could. The apartment was silent and dark. He silently kicked off his shoes and pulled off his sweatshirt, leaving him in a wife beater and dark blue jeans. He glanced at the clock. 2 AM. Apparently he'd been on the roof for awhile.

James halfheartedly fixed his hair, taking a deep breath. He crept towards his room. He paused, glancing back at the T.V. He could just stay up and watch some terrible and gory horror movies. The kind where kids' souls get eaten out by ghosts and creepy old women run around killing and eating people. Or he could find some crappy free porn and sit there and jack off to Kendall. Either option would be way easier than what he was about to do, what he had to do.

He wrapped his fingers around the handle of the door, sliding it open silently. In the dark, he could just barely see Kendall's sleeping silhouette. It looked like Kendall was faced towards the wall, his back to James. James almost smiled, watching Kendall sleep for a moment before gently closing the door.

James pulled off his socks and quietly picked up the edge of Kendall's sheets. He noticed Kendall flinch a little, starting to wake up, but he didn't really gain consciousness. James carefully slipped into bed next to him. He wrapped his arms around Kendall's shoulders from behind, settling his head in next to the blonde's so he was breathing down Kendall's neck. He felt Kendall shiver as he awoke.

"James?" Kendall asked. James smirked, glad to hear his name as the first thing out of Kendall's lips.

"I'm here," James whispered, tracing a finger down Kendall's arm.

"No," Kendall said, "we can't do this anymore. I can't believe you-" he started to say, though he didn't move James's arms from around him.

"Sshh," James quieted him, "I'm not here for sex."

"You're not?" Kendall raised his eyebrows. Knowing James, that was quite unlikely.

"I'm here to apologize," James told him, "for being a dick. I just want to explain to you how sorry I am. I know I was killing you. I was so scared, scared of anything real," he took a deep breath, then continued in his whisper, "and you were just a little too real."

Kendall sucked in a breath, "So what do you mean by all that?"

"I mean," James said, gently turning Kendall around to face him, "that I am really, really, terribly sorry, but now I'm ready. I'm ready to actually have, you know, a relationship. With you. If you'll take me," James whispered the last part extra quietly. His nose was touching Kendall's, and they were looking into eachother's eyes. Very gently, James tipped his face down, pulling Kendall into a kiss, only for a moment.

"Oh, James," Kendall mumbled. He put his face on James's chest, hearing his heart beat speed up as he did so.

"And just to prove it to you," James continued whispering, "I promise, no sex tonight. I don't just want that from you. Tonight, we just sleep," he kissed Kendall on the forehead.

Kendall smiled, settling into James a little more.

There was a silence for about a minute, when Kendall spoke.

"So, about that no sex thing..." he began.

"Do I get bonus points for the effort?" James asked with a smile.

"It's the thought that counts," Kendall smirked.

"Excellent," James told him. He pushed Kendall over so he was lying his back and climbed on top of him.

"I missed you," James said, leaning down and kissing Kendall's lips. His lips moved to the side of Kendall's mouth, to his long and angular jawline, until he was biting Kendall's ear. James moved down and sucked on Kendall's neck, licking all the way down to his chest.

"I missed you too," Kendall whispered through his heavy breath. He pushed his hands up into James's shirt, roaming his abs. Kendall quickly pulled the shirt off, tossing it off to the floor. He felt up and down some more, making sure he got a good feel for the washboard abs.

"Wouldn't want to forget these," Kendall mumbled as James kissed him again. Kendall's hands wandered under the waistband of James's jeans, and he struggled to undo them. James kicked them off quickly, left only in his boxers.

"Easier access," Kendall grunted. He reached up to James's shoulders, flipping him over so now James was the one on his back. He started at James's chest and licked his way all the way down his torso, leaving several hickeys on his chest. When he got to the top of his boxers, Kendall grabbed through the fabric, palming James with one hand.

"Kendall," James moaned, lacing his hands into his hair.

Kendall smirked and pulled the boxers down. He opened his mouth, putting James's dick in just a little bit, licking at the tip with a smile. This was way better than opening wide for the dentist. Kendall licked and sucked, moving his head and mouth up and down. He went farther the more he got into it, til James's dick was hitting the back of his throat.

"Uhhhh, Kendall!" James called.

Kendall gently took the incredibly hard dick out of his mouth, moving back up to kiss James.

"You've been bad," James whispered, "You must be punished." His hands were tracing their way down Kendall's sides, towards his boxers. Luckily, Kendall didn't have jeans on.

Kendall's boxers were tossed to the side. James smiled and climbed back on top, holding the back of Kendall's neck. Kendall bent up, arching his back towards James. James pulled Kendall's shirt off and trailed a finger down over his torso. His fingers traced over Kendall's dick, which now stood completely at attention.

Kendall shivered as James smirked. He traced a finger down Kendall's dick one more time.

"You like that?" he growled into Kendall's ear. Kendall shuddered.

James grabbed hold of Kendall's dick, pumping it up and down. He kissed and bit at Kendall's chest, driving Kendall crazy.

"James," Kendall moaned, "James!"

James smiled and kissed Kendall quickly on the lips, still pumping his dick.

"You fucking tease," Kendall groaned. Then, he took James's head in his hands and forced him to look at him. His green eyes were incredibly intese and glazed over with lust.

"James, now," Kendall demanded.

James let go of Kendall's dick and sat up, straddling Kendall.

"Now what?" James batted his eyelashes and winked. He got Kendall to turn over and leaned over him. James lightly rubbed his dick up against the side of Kendall's ass.

"Is that what you want now?" James whispered, his voice deep and low.

"Yes!" Kendall cried out.

"Jesus Knight, I haven't even gone in yet!"

Kendall grabbed the back of James's neck and pulled him down to his eye level, angling his head back and upwards to see better.

"Then. Why. Don't. You," Kendall said in a low hiss. He looked very demanding, persistent, and, well, horny.

"You asked for it," James told him, kissing him quickly before returning to his postion.

James thrust into Kendall, giving very little warning and starting however the hell he felt like it. Kendall cried out beneath him, bucking his hips up at James.

"James!" He screamed, "Oh my GOD James, harder!"

James did as he was told, leaning into it more and more. His hands, securely on Kendall's hips, began to trace and roam their way around Kendall's torso.

"Kendall, I can't, I- I'm gonna," James yelled at the top of his lungs, going into a full orgasm. Kendall writhed under him, rocking his hips more and more, throwing his head back in pleasure.

Both boys took a deep breath as James finally pulled out of Kendall. He fell onto the bed next to him.

"That," James said, giving Kendall a quick kiss on the lips, "was amazing."

"Yes" Kendall agreed, "Amazing." He paused for a minute, then continued, "You know, you just participated in make-up sex, which is such a couples thing."

James kissed the top of Kendall's head. "It's worth it."

They lay together for a moment, still breathing a little heavily.

"Hey," James began, "where were you tonight?"

Kendall blushed, turning bright red, "I- I went to a gay bar. With a fake i.d."

James chuckled. He poked at the one hickey on Kendall's neck that wasn't put there by him. "And who gave you this little thing?"

Kendall shrugged, "I barely remember what the guy looked like," he bit his lip, "none of them even compared to you. They were all older and creepy."

"Well," James said, "I can fix the hickey," he let his lips wander down to the small purple mark, sucking and biting at it himself.

"There," James assured Kendall, satisfied by his work.

The pair lay there and talked until the gradually fell asleep.

_***~*~Next morning!~*~***_

"We have to do this," James told his boyfriend, putting an arm around him, "We went over this last night."

Kendall gulped and nodded. He knew James was right. He began to sit up, and James tossed him a pair of sweatpants. He pulled them on, as did James with his pair.

"Ready?" James traced circles on Kendall's back as he stood up.

"Hey guys," James said cheerily when they walked out into the kitchen. Mrs Knight and Katie were already out for the day.

"Hey," Logan greeted them, "heard you guys made up last night."

Kendall turned bright red. "Y-y-you heard?" he stammered.

James, on the other hand, was grinning. "Of course they did," he said, "where were you last night?"

"Oh I was there," Kendall assured him with a wink, "you can be sure about that much."

"That was gross," Carlos said, wrinkling his nose up.

"You guys are just jealous," James wrapped and arm around Kendall's waist, "since you two haven't gotten it on yet."

This time, it was the Logan's turn to blush.

"Yeah well," Carlos sneered, trying to have a comeback, "nice hickeys."

"Thanks," James said, "I worked hard on those."

Suddenly, Kendall's eyes widened.

"Shit," he said, "do you think my mom heard?"

Logan laughed, "I'd be more concerned about whether our friends in _Minnesota _heard."

"Whatever," James shook his head, "we do have something important to tell you."

Kendall took in a deep breath and motioned towards the couch. Logan and Carlos sat, as did James and Kendall across from them.

Kendall rubbed his hands together, looking down. James squeezed his knee and moved closer.

"Guys," Kendall finally began, "it's time for me to tell you the story of my dad."

_**~*~*Ta da!*~*~**_

**A/N: So, this has been fun to write. Lots of emotions. Anyways, it's over now. Tell me what you thought in the reviews!**


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